Wishing Things Would Change
by EMCismylove
Summary: Draco Malfoy reflects on the task he has been given by the Dark Lord, how he will accomplish it and how he has changed. A little OOC, ONE-SHOT. A little Lucius bashing, nothing major : R & R.


**Day in the life of Draco Malfoy. Short little one-shot.  
****Draco Malfoy reflects on the task he has been given by the Dark Lord, how he will accomplish it and how he has changed.  
****Something I wrote up on a whim while I should be writing something for No One Can Know. :P Enjoy.  
****Sorry if it's a tad OOC, but Draco did change the very end of HBP & DH! And well, I've never liked Lucius.**

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Draco splashed water onto his face and looked up from the basin into the chipped mirror inspecting his appearance. This "task" was taking it's toll on him, he was already looking much older then his seventeen years; he was thinner, had no colour and no matter how many spells he used the dark circles under his eyes just wouldn't go away. He stared into his reflection and searched for answers. How was he, Draco Malfoy, a 17 year old boy who hasn't even graduated from Hogwarts, supposed to fulfil a task that countless men, far beyond his expertise, have failed to do? How was he expected to murder Albus Dumbledore? The greatest wizard who ever lived, no matter what the Dark Lord says. It was an impossible feat, the only person who will ever be able to kill Dumbledore is the old geezer himself. Draco brought his hand around and smashed it hard into the concrete wall, letting the pain wash over him.

Staring into his reflection Draco could see what he saw in his mother face every day: pain, exhaustion and desperation. Desperation for this war to be over. He wanted everything to be back to how it was. When he could still look at his father and see a hero, now all he saw were the terrible things his father has done. When he was younger he didn't understand that it wasn't right to treat someone differently because of their blood line or social standing. It was how he was brought up, he wasn't taught differently. He was told that he was better then everyone else because of his blood and knew no better. Now, he realized all of that pure blood crap was just bullshit. It was made up for pompous pure bloods who needed a higher standing for their huge egos. His father included. If living with the Dark Lord had taught him anything it was that if you believed the same morals as them, such as pure bloods were of a higher standing, then you were no better then the Dark Lord himself. If only Draco had learned this lesson earlier in life, when there was still time to get out. Now, it was too late, he was doomed to either complete this task and kill Dumbledore, or watch his parents get killed because of what he failed to do, then of course he would also be killed.

Damn his father! Damn his father for getting caught and put into Azkaban! He should be the one completing this task! Not Draco. He couldn't do this, he wasn't one to kill anybody. His father had killed hundreds as a Death Eater, it would have made no difference to him. He would have been proud to be the one to kill Dumbledore, Draco thought disgusted. That is who his father truly is. One who takes pride in killing. Same with Auntie Bellatrix. Seeing the faces of the people who they have killed sickens him now. Even looking at that loser Neville's face all he can see is the re-enactments Bellatrix gave the family on how she tortured the Longbottom's. It made him sick, that they can do that and be proud of it. Brag about it even.

Could he ever be like that? Would he ever be like his father? Going through with this would make him like his father. How would he be able to live with himself after that? Knowing that he was now what he detested most. A killer of the innocent.

It was simple, he couldn't go through with this, but what about his family? If he didn't do it they would be killed, mercilessly. How would he be able to get out of this and keep his mother alive? That was all he cared about, his mother. She didn't bring this upon her, it got brought. By her sister, by her husband. Everyone close to her, yet she didn't complain. As long as Draco was safe she kept her mouth shut and stood on the sidelines. Watching the events unfold in front of her eyes. Had it been anyone else Draco would have cursed and hated them for saying nothing when all of these terrible events took place, but he understood why his mother did nothing. She knew that it would have been pointless to say anything and it would have just gotten he and her son in danger. Everything she did, all the choices she made, were to make sure Draco was safe. So Draco was going to make it his dying wish that she was safe too. Would he be able to kill someone for her safety though? Would he be able to kill Dumbledore for her safety? He just didn't know. It seemed he didn't know anything any more. He didn't know if he could kill Dumbledore, he didn't know how to kill Dumbledore and he didn't know which decision to make. He was confused, and now more then ever he just wished it would be over and done with. He would do anything for it to be over, he would get down on his knees and beg Harry to kill Lord Voldemort just so his family could be safe. The Dark Lord claimed that if you were on his side you had no worries, he would keep you safe. Why is it that everyone seems so surprised when they join up and see that that isn't true?

Draco rubbed his left forearm, the damn thing was a nuisance, but he was forced to get it last summer. He was so proud of it too, at first. Back when he still thought of being a Death Eater as being in a club. Then he found out it was a cult. You joined on your own free will and then found out what is was really like, but by then it was too late. You either stayed or died.

A knock interrupted Draco's thoughts and a voice called out telling him that the Dark Lord was ready to see him. Draco stepped out of the tiny bathroom he was in to go tell the Dark Lord that Dumbledore was still alive with two questions running through his mind. Does he stay, or die? Does he kill, or be killed?

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**There! I hope you all enjoyed. It took me alot longer then I thought it would.  
I'm proud of it though, it's my first Harry Potter FanFic ever, so review and tell me if you liked it!  
Thanks. :)**


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